The river's deep, the river's wide...

Just so everyone knows...I am trying really hard to think about something to write here. I've been staring at a blank template for about 2 hours. I change the subject over and over again and start writing and then delete. Haha. I'm quite indecisive tonight I suppose.

So I will just write what comes to my little mind.
I think it's strange that it's November 16th and we don't have any snow yet. Yipes I'm going to jinx myself though and there will be 23" when I wake up. I am not going home for Thanksgiving. I know, sound the alarms. I just don't have money to go home twice within a month. So, I'm just going to take some extra time at Christmas and be at home.

I'm not exactly sure how this happened but I've watched a whole season of One Tree Hill in 3 days. All while working and being at people's houses and whatnot.

Something that's been on my mind/heart as of late...Happiness. What a word. Happiness, according to the dictionary, means: good fortune, pleasure, contentment, joy. I just have been relatively happy for awhile now. I mean, obviously...everyone has bad days. I do too. (Usually it's only because I am tired or haven't eaten yet though.) This happiness and contentment comes from the LORD.

Seriously. I am blessed with a few great friends that I can call my family and I know that if I needed ANYTHING they would have my back. I am blessed with a job and a wonderful working environment. I am blessed with a house to live in. It's so crazy. I was just looking back on the past four years how different my life was then and now.

Now, I'm not exactly the most rich, money wise, but MAN oh man I am so rich in many other things! It's really hard sometimes to give up your life and things YOU want to do in order to let God do what HE wants you to do in your life. You can never see it and it's all about trust and just giving it all to Him and once you can do that, He blesses your life. It's really been a struggle for me, because, like every human, I want to make my own decisions and do what I want and feel how I want to feel.

About a month ago, we talked about Psalm 37 in church. Psalm 37 is basically these commands to just give everything to God. Do not fret envy or wickedness because those people will be cut down! TRUST in the LORD and do good! And you will have land and food! DELIGHT yourself in the LORD and He will GIVE YOU YOUR DESIRES! How absolutely amazing! Give all your problems and issues to Him and He will help them to pass. Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him. He wants you to get sleep and rest and do not worry about things you can not change! He will take care of it. Cease from anger, be wise and don't give into evil, give all your problems to the LORD! Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell forever more! Wow! Do not be evil and you will dwell FOREVERMORE! It's so much better to focus living a righteous life than to fret over those who are wicked. Wait on the LORD. Do it with a happy heart :) Mark the perfect man and behold the upright...Surround yourself with upright, outstanding people and you will be able to live a life free of fretting, evil, and wickedness! And you will be blessed! God is so good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd_bxP86Utc <-Such a great song btw! Listen!

Okay, I feel as though that was a bit rambly but I just got excited :) Sometimes I just wish people could see how great their lives could be and how much potential they have if they would just let God in and start living for Him and you will be so blessed!

Well, I guess I found something to talk about ;) I need to go to sleep! I am so tired and now I'm all worked up. Hopefully next time it won't take me two hours to get started on something interesting. I guess I should just start by opening my Bible because there's a lot to talk about. :) Night!!!

Ash

P.S. I made this hat! Well...Courtney made the pom pom thing on the top. But we have matching ones, hers is yellow. I just like em so much! I'm liking crocheting. :)

This is what it looks like on my head :)

One last song...

I am watching Walk The Line right now as we speak...or type I suppose :) This quote comes from pretty early on in the movie and it's a quote I constantly have on my mind if someone asks me what my favorite song is or why I like a certain band or artist. Here it is:

"All right. Let's bring it home. If you was hit by a truck and you were lying out in that gutter dying and you had time to sing one song. Huh? One song people would remember before you're dirt. One song that would let God know what you felt about your time here on earth, one song that would sum you up. You telling me that's the song you'd sing? That same Jimmie Davis tune we hear on the radio all day? About your peace within, and how it's real, and how you're gonna shout it? Or would you sing something different? Something real, something you felt? Because, I'm telling you right now that's the kind of thing people want to hear..."

To me, a good song is not just because it's a certain genre or a certain singer. To me, it is the WAY it is sung. Period. If someone is singing a song and they are just going through the motions and appears as if they have no emotional connection to the story that they're singing, it just doesn't do it for me. My favorite hymns are the ones that you can so easily connect with. My favorite songs in general are ones that I can relate with and that the artist can sing so passionately. I love love LOVE that line in the movie because it just says everything that I wish musical artists would know and do. A lot of artists are strictly in it for money and fame so they don't even care what they're singing and they do not sound good. I appreciate the artists who do it because they love it and because they feel like that song and story needs to be told.

That's why I LOVE country/folk music. Most of the singers of country music are telling a story and it's easy to connect with because it's true and it's something most people have gone through. And they care about what they're saying. There is no other type of music like it. I love it.

When I think about it, I have NO idea what my last song I'd sing would be. It's definitely something to ponder because it is intriguing to think about. What would YOUR last song be? :)

Ash

Harry Potter...and other fantasies...

Ok, I started reading Harry Potter books in the 3rd grade. I have always loved them. I have read every one and I've seen every movie. I am just pretty much looking for thoughts on this. I don't want to hear "HARRY POTTER IS EVIL...STAY AWAY!" I more want to hear a reason for why Harry Potter is evil? If that makes sense. I agree witchcraft is evil, wizardry is evil. To me, personally, however, I like these books because of the fantasy and it's the genre of books I like. :/ Perhaps that is bad. I do not, however, read them because I am a fan of witchcraft and wizardry...I am not pursuing a career in that. I don't want to be a witch...I like discussions and I like to hear what other people think. I am not defending witches or wizards. It's a sin. Very clearly God is against it. (Deuteronomy is it?)I am just having a hard time...Is it okay to watch and read these things if I do not believe that it's real and I don't partake in anything witchy outside of the movies?

Moving on...I LOVE reading fantasy books and watching movies about them. I (obviously) am a huge fan of Harry Potter. I love Chronicles of Narnia. I have recently got the book The Hobbit and I'm going to read the Lord of The Rings books. Is it wrong to read these books and watch the movies and enjoy it?

Next...Chronicles of Narnia was written by a Christian author. C.S. Lewis. Correct? There IS magic in the books. There is an evil white witch. The way they can even GET to Narnia is simply by magic. So, basically I'm saying because of the author's backgrounds it's okay to read Narnia but not Harry Potter? Magic is magic right?

Lord of The Rings...written by J.R.R. Tolkien. C.S. Lewis' best friend? Also a Christian. A Catholic Christian...but a Christian. I haven't read the books but I've seen all three movies numerous times. Also fantasy. Gandalf, who is (I'm not saying he IS God), portrayed as God. He dies and returns as a glowing white wizard. There we have the wizard reference again. So, LOTR vs. Harry Potter. Again, magic is magic so why is it okay for Christian's to read books about magic and wizardry when they're written by a Christian author and not books about magic and wizardry when it's written by someone who has not expressed to be a Christian in any way?

Basically, I am just wondering everyone's views. I know many people who do not feel it's okay for Christian's to read Harry Potter. I know many people who've never even read them but are way against them. I want to know what makes it okay to read Narnia and LOTR but NOT Harry Potter. (P.S. I LOVE Narnia and LOTR so this is not me hating on those series.)

In every story there HAS to be a good guy and a bad guy. A protagonist and an antagonist. It's not an enjoyable story without one. In Harry Potter, it's Harry Potter and his friends against the Dark Lord Voldemort. In LOTR it's Gandalf and Frodo against Sauron and all of his evil things and people under him. In Narnia (Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe) it's Aslan against the White Witch. I'm just saying.

I would enjoy hearing what some other people think, again, not just saying you hate the series' but WHY you have such distaste for them. :)

Ash

Why don't I sleep? I will never know.

Well, I am trying hard to keep up with this thing. I am just so busy!!! Let's see. So, on Saturday I went and babysat for a lady I work with. She has 3 kids so it was busy and fun! On Sunday I went to church in the morning then went to church at night. Quite exciting. Monday I didn't really do much, Tuesday, Karla had a 31 party at her house and that was pretty fun. I like seeing people and eating yummy treats. :) Wednesday night I went to Courtney's house and watched Bye, Bye Birdie. I loved that movie! I'd never seen it before and I thought it was so funny! I definitely want to learn all the dance moves and the songs keep getting stuck in my head! Today I went to Michael's...the store...they had a yarn sale *sigh* I don't know if getting excited about a yarn sale makes me an old lady or something but it made my day pretty swell.

As I mentioned above, on Sunday I went to two church services. Since my home church Freshwater started having a 5:00 p.m. service I have recently started (not regularly) attending a Baptist church in Waconia on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings. I like going to it and I really like singing hymns! There is just something about hymns that gets me. I LOVE Freshwater as my church and the music there but hymns are just so special. I really like all the people that go to that church also. They are all so friendly! :) So, I like to go there in the mornings and get my dose of "old school" music and then go to Freshwater at night and worship in a more modern style.

Music is kind of a touchy subject at a lot of churches for some reason. Maybe it's just me, but I'm not quite positive why? Some people are SO dead set against contemporary music and some people can't stand to sing hymns. And it's not just how they feel but every opportunity they get they like to express how "awful" today's music is. I don't agree. I am also pretty positive God enjoys hearing us worship Him however we feel most comfortable doing it. If I do recall I believe Zephaniah 3:17 says something about God rejoicing with us in singing. I personally love all sorts of music. I'm not about to pounce on someone for the way they like to worship our great and mighty God. I'm just sayin ;) Then again, maybe it's just me...

Anyway! After that little schpeel I am going to go to bed. It's 1 am and I have to go tye dye "Harvest" shirts with 17 four year olds tomorrow. Wish me luck!

love.love.love
Ash

I just can't make a right, with all of my wrongs...

Lately, I feel as though I can't do anything right! I feel like even if I try to do something good and right, it turns out being awful and wrong. I do not know why why why.

It has been a pretty stressful week, a lot of emotional things going on. I am trying to just be happy and joyful, but sometimes it's hard. How come it is so easy to have a bad, negative attitude, than to be happy? Happiness is hard work sometimes.

I'm going to go crochet my thoughts away....

Did you all know that I crochet? I actually love it. :) Anyway, that's what I'm going to go do.

lovelovelove
A

Friday

I am SO happy it's Friday. Don't get me wrong. I love my job and I love the fact that I have a job BUT weekends are so nice. Tonight I am going to eat chips with some queso and tomorrow I'm going to babysit my favorite kids and Sunday is church. Ohhh how wonderful. :) Happy weekend yay yay yay.

Ways that I have been blessed...

Psalm 34:8
"O taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man that trusteth in him."

Ok, so I haven't really paid much attention to my blessings as of late. (Bad Ashleigh) I DO focus on daily blessings when I pray like, "God thank you for this beautiful day, thank you for this food...blah blah blah blah blah...." But, I haven't really been focusing on big blessings. I went back and was reading some of my past writings on here...things I was praying for and whatnot.

You know what? My relationship with my dad is great. I mean, it can always be better...that's usually the case. But, from where we were 5 years ago. MAN times have changed. Things are good! That is just a huge blessing.

I am blessed with a WONDERFUL job where I work with wonderful people. Absolutely wonderful people. There really isn't a day where I wake up and don't want to go to work. (Except for in August when I had strep throat but that doesn't count because I really felt like dying.) I enjoy my job and what I do and who I see everyday. I get to work with awesome kids. BTW can I just say that I love kids? They're so great, ya know, they just don't care at all where you come from or what you've done in the past and they still just love the guts out of you. (Weird analogy? Yes.)

I also have a wonderful house to live in at the moment and it's really great and the timing and everything involved in me moving in here was a blessing.

The thing I am the most thankful for, however, (which might not be good to be my favorite blessing?) are my FRIENDS! The people that God has put in my life are just ridiculous and I have no idea why I get to have the greatest people in the world as my friends. I love them to pieces and I do not have ANY clue why in the world I am so lucky to have them in my life. I have people that I can talk to about anything and who will pray for me and who will talk to me and be straight up with me about anything and they're not scared to do it. I feel SO unworthy of friends like that. I don't deserve it at all.

Anyway, I'm tired. Going to bed. I need to work tomorrow. I am so excited for the weekend. It's been a long tiresome week, but I enjoyed every minute of it. ;)

love-love-love
Ash